tomorrow! and it'll be a whole new year!!! haha after going through so much it's finally, 2004 is coming but of cos, from now on it only means increasing age lolz
not sure how i'll celebrate it though. mebbe not even celebrating. juz a simple day with wilfred or something. stupid school starts on the 5th. gave us only one week break after 6 months of sickening student attachment. how unsympathetic.
i'll be staying over with wil though from todae onward till saturday.
mum by chance happened to pass by a flea market with a lady selling second hand handphones on the floor. one hp so happens to catch her attention. it looked nice and unique. she squats down and picks it up. "how much is this hp"
"$510"
mum nearly died of shock. haha she thought it was very expensive. know which hp she picked up? SGH-E700A. LOL $510 and that would be considered cheap! but then again, i dun dare to trust such roadside stalls. seems too good a deal.
30 December 2003
#4682B4 |
Your dominant hues are cyan and blue. You like people and enjoy making friends. You're conservative and like to make sure things make sense before you step into them, especially in relationships. You are curious but respected for your opinions by people who you sometimes wouldn't even suspect. Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it. Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up. |
i've been rather confused these few days...
over wad i duno.
ultra sensitive feeling something is wrong yet cant pinpoint wad it is.
mebbe i'm bored of the routine....
terribly sickened abt it.
yeah, routine.
cried in the bus back home. felt so wrong. nothing happened. we didn't quarrel. but i became emotional. i duno why.... past memories... hurts.... pain... fear.. they all came back to me at once.. i hate this feeling....
it's time to pick up bits and pieces again. i tend to break apart easily...
too easily.
i alternate between being very strong and dependable,
to becoming very weak and vulnerable.
without him in my life,
life seems to be in some sort of a standstill..
nothing mattered anymore....
life becomes dull.
forgot the feeling of being single.
now i fear that feeling.
i want to stay with him. always.
the thing is i'm prolly over over sensitive cos i KNOW wilfred is damn tired after a hard day's work. i KNOW he sayang me alot cos of his efforts and he is already treating me the best he could...
i'm juz too weak.
emotionally weak.
i cried in the bus.. so random
i cried in mrt several times before even with dennis next to me. no one notices.
when i bow dwn, i'm crying. cos when i slp, i tilt my head backwards instead.
nevermind. i can beat this. when there's a will there's a way. my patience will tell and i will nt bow dwn to challenges.
wil locked me out of his bedrm earlier on. he fell aslp inside and accidentally locked the door. i knocked like mad, called his hp n everything bt he juz slept like a dead log. i had to ask his dad to open the door for me. then when i got in, he got up and looked at me blurry eyed. den pouted when i chided him. -____- like small boi. so cute.
over wad i duno.
ultra sensitive feeling something is wrong yet cant pinpoint wad it is.
mebbe i'm bored of the routine....
terribly sickened abt it.
yeah, routine.
cried in the bus back home. felt so wrong. nothing happened. we didn't quarrel. but i became emotional. i duno why.... past memories... hurts.... pain... fear.. they all came back to me at once.. i hate this feeling....
it's time to pick up bits and pieces again. i tend to break apart easily...
too easily.
i alternate between being very strong and dependable,
to becoming very weak and vulnerable.
without him in my life,
life seems to be in some sort of a standstill..
nothing mattered anymore....
life becomes dull.
forgot the feeling of being single.
now i fear that feeling.
i want to stay with him. always.
the thing is i'm prolly over over sensitive cos i KNOW wilfred is damn tired after a hard day's work. i KNOW he sayang me alot cos of his efforts and he is already treating me the best he could...
i'm juz too weak.
emotionally weak.
i cried in the bus.. so random
i cried in mrt several times before even with dennis next to me. no one notices.
when i bow dwn, i'm crying. cos when i slp, i tilt my head backwards instead.
nevermind. i can beat this. when there's a will there's a way. my patience will tell and i will nt bow dwn to challenges.
wil locked me out of his bedrm earlier on. he fell aslp inside and accidentally locked the door. i knocked like mad, called his hp n everything bt he juz slept like a dead log. i had to ask his dad to open the door for me. then when i got in, he got up and looked at me blurry eyed. den pouted when i chided him. -____- like small boi. so cute.
29 December 2003
i'm so damn bored. no one seems to be alive and online and i keep hearing strange noises frm upstairs. those stupid indians. duno wad the heck they doing. i am no racist, but i sure do hate the neighbours i hav upstairs. everyone hates them. inconsiderate idiots.
woke up at 10pm and hav been procrastinating for the last two hours and 46 minutes.. shits.
waiting for wilfred to be free to call him cos i dun wan to disturb him while he work. speakers aint working. everything is so quiet and the only thing i could hear is just the sound of my keyboard.... this is bad...
my stupid lips juz cracked and it's so damn painful..... *whines* i applied lotsa lip balm... hope it helps.... geez.. can still taste the blood in my mouth.
i juz changed the bg of me n wilfred's blog... forgot the password so i took the trouble to redo the whole site. created a new blog and RE-posted ALL the past entries according to time and date. tiring man but it was worth the trouble. i changed the address too. for those who actually reads it last time, you can go check out the bg. it's v cute.
love haven
i juz changed the bg of me n wilfred's blog... forgot the password so i took the trouble to redo the whole site. created a new blog and RE-posted ALL the past entries according to time and date. tiring man but it was worth the trouble. i changed the address too. for those who actually reads it last time, you can go check out the bg. it's v cute.
love haven
28 December 2003
missed out one thing to mention. currently am looking for handphones to upgrade to. guess which phone i'm aiming? i must be out of my mind anyway.
samsung (SGH-E700A)
I must be so out of my mind but the design of this stupid hp captured my attention leaving me mesmerized. damn. it's totally gonna burn out my savings.
the cost of the hp without line is $800 over dollars but if i choose upgrade my singtel line in exchange with this phone and throw in my ericsson phone for trade in, it'll cost $728.
STILL, it's damn expensive nevertheless.
haiz. i do hav the cash but am i willing to part with it? tough qns.... argh..
this phone is so high in demand, it's sold out. can u believe it? i actually had to reserve one. i did of cos but if times comes along i decide nt to buy i can choose to reject the reservation. haiz. better discuss it with mum.
who willing to sponsor me pls step forward. lolz
p.s. if you guys hav any gd or bad comments abt the functionality of this hp, pls do. either leave a msg below this entry or in one of the shout/tag box.
samsung (SGH-E700A)
I must be so out of my mind but the design of this stupid hp captured my attention leaving me mesmerized. damn. it's totally gonna burn out my savings.
the cost of the hp without line is $800 over dollars but if i choose upgrade my singtel line in exchange with this phone and throw in my ericsson phone for trade in, it'll cost $728.
STILL, it's damn expensive nevertheless.
haiz. i do hav the cash but am i willing to part with it? tough qns.... argh..
this phone is so high in demand, it's sold out. can u believe it? i actually had to reserve one. i did of cos but if times comes along i decide nt to buy i can choose to reject the reservation. haiz. better discuss it with mum.
who willing to sponsor me pls step forward. lolz
p.s. if you guys hav any gd or bad comments abt the functionality of this hp, pls do. either leave a msg below this entry or in one of the shout/tag box.
something just doesn't seem right. my sixth sense is very keen however, it doesn't always go straight to the answer. it'll just let me be aware that something ain't right and leave the rest for myself to go figure. it's v frustrating, really. wasn't ease at heart since the whole afternoon. something just doesn't seem right. he seemed distracted. perhaps he's tired. or wad. i don't know. but i dun like what i was feeling. i became a worry freak and he just kept on consoling me. what is wrong with me?
sigh.
now i'm alone at home. outside it's getting dark and wilfred is not with me. he went to meet up with a friend to collect something. been a long while since i've been left alone at such hours. i'm either at work or with wilfred. mebbe that's wads making me feel so edgy. i dun like leaving wilfred at such early hours.
nw i'm stuck at home with no one online and a tv stuck with boring channels. damn. guess wad? my speakers cant work. gotta get new ones cos the plug aint rite for the current monitor. how sux.
sigh.
now i'm alone at home. outside it's getting dark and wilfred is not with me. he went to meet up with a friend to collect something. been a long while since i've been left alone at such hours. i'm either at work or with wilfred. mebbe that's wads making me feel so edgy. i dun like leaving wilfred at such early hours.
nw i'm stuck at home with no one online and a tv stuck with boring channels. damn. guess wad? my speakers cant work. gotta get new ones cos the plug aint rite for the current monitor. how sux.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY FINALLY GOT MY NEW COMPY MONITOR YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
*bounce bounce about*
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
hehehehehehhehehe went dwn to simlim and finally got my new monitor after so many months wahaha.. $218. philips brand hehehehe wilfred choose one. lookie nice nice. ok i go haf lunchie. u guys will be seeing me online ALOT from nw one bwahahahaha free frm attachment too!!!!!!
*bounce bounce about*
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
hehehehehehhehehe went dwn to simlim and finally got my new monitor after so many months wahaha.. $218. philips brand hehehehe wilfred choose one. lookie nice nice. ok i go haf lunchie. u guys will be seeing me online ALOT from nw one bwahahahaha free frm attachment too!!!!!!
hihi i'm backie again~! since hong say muz blog more so i shall try to blog more hahaha hav some free time on hand and wil's bro aint in the rm i can use the compy!!! whee.... HEHEHEHE. took lotsa pics yesterday and ate DAMN ALOT of sushi (u guys can check it out frm the link on the right that says "digicam pics") but of cos, the pics dun run in order haha so u gotta look one by one to noe which one is new. aint muh fault. it's the stupid programme.
i was at work yesterday actually but i spent christmas with my colleague hahahaha so we had sushi, ordered alot and made alot of joke out of it cos we literally emptied the trays at the sushi stall and needed more so the auntie had to make more on the spot to catch up with us. LOL spent a total of... $30.45~~!!! imagine how much sushi we ate! juz me, two other colleagues of mine and wilfred hahahaha they were staring at how i managed to eat so much wasabi. i'm a wasabi eating freak. i put alot alot alot and alot of wasabi on my sushis hahahaha..!
we were so bored at work, we took turn to go out n shop ard even went to the phone shop hahahaha cos we wanted to change phone. my dad gav me $500 to get a new monitor but i'll prolly spend less than half of it. the rest either i return him or i put in the bank. wil keep askin me to kapok the cash hahaha siao. hahahah altho my mum oso ask me to kapok cos the money is safer in my hands than that of my dad cos he'll anyhow spend on drinks etc.
i had off day of christmas eve so me n wilfred went out on a date. bumped into 3 ppl~! one i duno is who hahaha met him last on the train. wil's fren..~
then i bumped into emiri first down the pathway of lucky plaza. she was with some guy heading dwn to watch a movie. doubt she could get a gd seat tho cos it's pretty late already. den while we walked back dwn and was somewhere outside um... that area which is slightly after swensen, we bumped into alex!! haha he dress up until so funky. make him look younger altho he already 25?? he's a hairstylist (apprentice?) i forgot which hahaha.. wad's impt, is he said i lost weight!!! bwahahahah... ^ ^
i bot this nice pair of earring too!! sano n iman shld know which. remember that dangling one with the beads which u were saying that they were plastic? sorry babe couldn't resist temptations hahaha so i bought it!
oh yes then me n wil walked ard and for dinner we had it at pastamania in cineleisure. while we ate, we had people performing dwnstairs in the basement, singing christmas carols. they had v gd voice! haha when we were done eating we sat infrnt of those ppl and listened to them sing. when they finished i tricked wilfred into cheers. cos there's a florist inside bwahahahha so he had to buy me some roses.
too bad i couldn't join bryan they all for buffet at night. couldn't bring wil along so too bad. hahaa am lookin forward to spending chinese new year with them. i like family gatherings. can take lotsa pics.
i was at work yesterday actually but i spent christmas with my colleague hahahaha so we had sushi, ordered alot and made alot of joke out of it cos we literally emptied the trays at the sushi stall and needed more so the auntie had to make more on the spot to catch up with us. LOL spent a total of... $30.45~~!!! imagine how much sushi we ate! juz me, two other colleagues of mine and wilfred hahahaha they were staring at how i managed to eat so much wasabi. i'm a wasabi eating freak. i put alot alot alot and alot of wasabi on my sushis hahahaha..!
we were so bored at work, we took turn to go out n shop ard even went to the phone shop hahahaha cos we wanted to change phone. my dad gav me $500 to get a new monitor but i'll prolly spend less than half of it. the rest either i return him or i put in the bank. wil keep askin me to kapok the cash hahaha siao. hahahah altho my mum oso ask me to kapok cos the money is safer in my hands than that of my dad cos he'll anyhow spend on drinks etc.
i had off day of christmas eve so me n wilfred went out on a date. bumped into 3 ppl~! one i duno is who hahaha met him last on the train. wil's fren..~
then i bumped into emiri first down the pathway of lucky plaza. she was with some guy heading dwn to watch a movie. doubt she could get a gd seat tho cos it's pretty late already. den while we walked back dwn and was somewhere outside um... that area which is slightly after swensen, we bumped into alex!! haha he dress up until so funky. make him look younger altho he already 25?? he's a hairstylist (apprentice?) i forgot which hahaha.. wad's impt, is he said i lost weight!!! bwahahahah... ^ ^
i bot this nice pair of earring too!! sano n iman shld know which. remember that dangling one with the beads which u were saying that they were plastic? sorry babe couldn't resist temptations hahaha so i bought it!
oh yes then me n wil walked ard and for dinner we had it at pastamania in cineleisure. while we ate, we had people performing dwnstairs in the basement, singing christmas carols. they had v gd voice! haha when we were done eating we sat infrnt of those ppl and listened to them sing. when they finished i tricked wilfred into cheers. cos there's a florist inside bwahahahha so he had to buy me some roses.
too bad i couldn't join bryan they all for buffet at night. couldn't bring wil along so too bad. hahaa am lookin forward to spending chinese new year with them. i like family gatherings. can take lotsa pics.
20 December 2003
shucks been so long since i last blogged. sorry ppl... monitor STILL dwn and havent' got the time cos i'm still working...
i rebonded my hair again hahahaha and after that i went on out with fukai and iman and sano! but fukai soon left so me n sano n iman went ard taking photos! takashimaya's tree is HUGE! like 4 storeys high up! nicely litted too!
hmm.. finishing attachment pretty soon.. got very well with my colleagues and we're like one big family and it's kinda that for me to leave actually cos i'll miss working with them alot.. all the fun and chats.. but the long hours discourages me to continue working there as a part-time... i drew lotsa christmas cards this year and gonna send to lotsa ppl~ hehehehehe fun~!
.....................
ok. FUCKING DEVASTATING NEWS. DAMN SAD DAMN PISSED N HAV BEEN CRYING FOR ... 10 MINUTES. wilfred's dad fuckin threw away the ashtray made by me during my secondary school years and given to wilfred as a present signifiying our first annivasary and also his bdae in yr 2001.......WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuckin sad. fuck. fuckin all melvin's fault for takin it to his rm. fuck.
ok no mood animore. cya
i rebonded my hair again hahahaha and after that i went on out with fukai and iman and sano! but fukai soon left so me n sano n iman went ard taking photos! takashimaya's tree is HUGE! like 4 storeys high up! nicely litted too!
hmm.. finishing attachment pretty soon.. got very well with my colleagues and we're like one big family and it's kinda that for me to leave actually cos i'll miss working with them alot.. all the fun and chats.. but the long hours discourages me to continue working there as a part-time... i drew lotsa christmas cards this year and gonna send to lotsa ppl~ hehehehehe fun~!
.....................
ok. FUCKING DEVASTATING NEWS. DAMN SAD DAMN PISSED N HAV BEEN CRYING FOR ... 10 MINUTES. wilfred's dad fuckin threw away the ashtray made by me during my secondary school years and given to wilfred as a present signifiying our first annivasary and also his bdae in yr 2001.......WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuckin sad. fuck. fuckin all melvin's fault for takin it to his rm. fuck.
ok no mood animore. cya
09 December 2003
yo guys! uploaded lotsa pics into my digicam page! got loads of candid pictures taken of me n my colleagues n of cos wilfred plus 3 cute pictures of my supervisor's ultra cute son!!!! take a look here!
LINKS REMOVED
gd luck to those who took JLPT yeah~
todae is muh 2nd year 1st mth anni hahahaha two more days and it's wilfred's bdae! i bot a t-shirt for him with the same design for myself too~ hahahaha couple clothing haha then i went n buy stamps.
expensive siaaaal!
cos i wanted to send a faye wong cd o'er to australia to a fren of mine basket the stamp $4.30 sia.. ! madnesss!
then i bought other stamps for aust n KL to send greeting cards.. haiz expensive.. wallet losing blood.
mel teo called me early in the mornin at 9am while i was slpin halfway basket lolz so blurs when i woke up. i tot wilfred.
then we chatted for o'er an hour talk alot n crapped alot hahahha it's fun chattin with her and since she say her dad bot her his v old edition of faye wong cd i told her i'll get her the new one and she was protesting o'er it saying she'll mail it back if i do buy it oh well wad the heck hahaha i bot it aniway n i dun believe she'll bear to mail it back to me LOL. hav fun checkin out the pics! buaaaai
LINKS REMOVED
gd luck to those who took JLPT yeah~
todae is muh 2nd year 1st mth anni hahahaha two more days and it's wilfred's bdae! i bot a t-shirt for him with the same design for myself too~ hahahaha couple clothing haha then i went n buy stamps.
expensive siaaaal!
cos i wanted to send a faye wong cd o'er to australia to a fren of mine basket the stamp $4.30 sia.. ! madnesss!
then i bought other stamps for aust n KL to send greeting cards.. haiz expensive.. wallet losing blood.
mel teo called me early in the mornin at 9am while i was slpin halfway basket lolz so blurs when i woke up. i tot wilfred.
then we chatted for o'er an hour talk alot n crapped alot hahahha it's fun chattin with her and since she say her dad bot her his v old edition of faye wong cd i told her i'll get her the new one and she was protesting o'er it saying she'll mail it back if i do buy it oh well wad the heck hahaha i bot it aniway n i dun believe she'll bear to mail it back to me LOL. hav fun checkin out the pics! buaaaai
07 December 2003
hm...
not much thing to blog lately.
except i'm real tired.
haiz
can't wait till my next off day comes along.
and that will be me n wil's annivasary~ whee...
and thursday is wilfred's birthday~ he's turning 19! (finally..)
i intend to get him a t-shirt and i alreadi bot him a card but i haven't shown it to him yet of cos...
ok. i realli can't think of anithing to blog except to rest. i'll blog some other day when i'm more free.
i nid a new monitor man. sux.
not much thing to blog lately.
except i'm real tired.
haiz
can't wait till my next off day comes along.
and that will be me n wil's annivasary~ whee...
and thursday is wilfred's birthday~ he's turning 19! (finally..)
i intend to get him a t-shirt and i alreadi bot him a card but i haven't shown it to him yet of cos...
ok. i realli can't think of anithing to blog except to rest. i'll blog some other day when i'm more free.
i nid a new monitor man. sux.
02 December 2003
i'm plain confused, lost, and very afraid of the future. afraid of what's ahead of me.
what if wil goes overseas to study?
questions flooded my mind.
will he lose affection for me?
we will drift apart?
the loneliness will be so hard to bear.
it's not just for 2 years.
for the complete studies? to get his diploma n degree it'll take up to 5 gruelling years! 5 years!
i can't jus wait in SG for 5 years. i can't and i don't want.
how? what could i do?
study overseas with him?
nope.
finacially unable to do so.
mum told me to let him take the opportunity to level himself up.
true. it's a gd chance.
but i'll be old by then.
i dun like late marriages.
argh
i want to go to a uni. i wan to level up myself.
i dun hav the money
my plans hav to be put on hold.
mum told me to slow dwn.
for him to catch up
there's no way my dad will accept him.
at least not w/o qualifications.
what can i do?
his friend gav a suggestion.
work overseas.
go to where he is at.
i would love to.
but i've never been out of SG.
getting work permit
working in a place i don't call my home
leaving my friends
and my family
my dad
my mum
behind
for.... 5 years? mebbe less mebbe more....?
there are options.
but too tough an option to choose from.
my mind is in a whirl.
i'm v confused and sad and all sorts of things.
i feel sucky inside.
i'm just a simple girl who hate big decisions.
i hate it when my familar environment feels threathened.
i don't know what to choose from.
i want to be with him..
somebody help.... argh.....
my mum once told me.. last nite i guess..
if i were to tag along with wil to aust
perhaps to study
my dad will cry like mad literally...
i've never left his side.
i know he love me alot. that's wad makes it so hard.
what if wil goes overseas to study?
questions flooded my mind.
will he lose affection for me?
we will drift apart?
the loneliness will be so hard to bear.
it's not just for 2 years.
for the complete studies? to get his diploma n degree it'll take up to 5 gruelling years! 5 years!
i can't jus wait in SG for 5 years. i can't and i don't want.
how? what could i do?
study overseas with him?
nope.
finacially unable to do so.
mum told me to let him take the opportunity to level himself up.
true. it's a gd chance.
but i'll be old by then.
i dun like late marriages.
argh
i want to go to a uni. i wan to level up myself.
i dun hav the money
my plans hav to be put on hold.
mum told me to slow dwn.
for him to catch up
there's no way my dad will accept him.
at least not w/o qualifications.
what can i do?
his friend gav a suggestion.
work overseas.
go to where he is at.
i would love to.
but i've never been out of SG.
getting work permit
working in a place i don't call my home
leaving my friends
and my family
my dad
my mum
behind
for.... 5 years? mebbe less mebbe more....?
there are options.
but too tough an option to choose from.
my mind is in a whirl.
i'm v confused and sad and all sorts of things.
i feel sucky inside.
i'm just a simple girl who hate big decisions.
i hate it when my familar environment feels threathened.
i don't know what to choose from.
i want to be with him..
somebody help.... argh.....
my mum once told me.. last nite i guess..
if i were to tag along with wil to aust
perhaps to study
my dad will cry like mad literally...
i've never left his side.
i know he love me alot. that's wad makes it so hard.
